What Did I Just Get Myself Into?
Have you accidentally invited the whole squad to your house for Friendsgiving? Never fear! Here are some tips and tricks to host a holiday party without running yourself ragged.
KISS (The Food, Not the Band)
KISS, or Keep It Super Simple, is going to be your mantra. If this is your first time hosting a large gathering, you might be stressing a little. Of course, when guests come to a party, they need to be fed. And watered (or wined). But unless your friends and family are accustomed to fine dining on the daily, it does not have to be fancy.
The first time I hosted Thanksgiving dinner, I went all out. I got a little obsessed with creating the perfect holiday table, and everything was fussy and homemade.
While it was appreciated, I learned that no one was expecting Michelin-level cuisine, and I put myself through a lot of unnecessary work and stress. We’re from the Midwest, and simple, traditional food is fine. Now, if I am so inclined, I might make one fancy dish and embrace simplicity for the rest.
Dietary Restrictions and Allergies
Whenever you’re hosting guests for a meal, it’s important to consider any dietary restrictions and allergies they may have. If you’re not sure if your guests have restrictions or allergies, just ask and work your menu around any that pop up.
The Holiday Menu
First, you need to decide if you’re doing all the cooking, a potluck, or a hybrid. Personally, I like attending potlucks because I get to sample foods I wouldn’t normally have the chance to try. I once attended an amazing potluck where everyone was asked to bring a family-favorite side dish. It was so fun trying Aunt Martha’s Famous Green Bean Casserole or the stuffing recipe that has been handed down for generations.
If you and your guests want to go this route, you need to assign categories to people, or you’re going to end up with 11 bags of chips. You can provide the main dish and ask everyone to bring a mix of apps, sides, and desserts, or skip the main altogether and fill up on the rest.
If you’re going to go the DIY route, never turn down an offer from someone willing to bring something. It will take the pressure off you. Desserts and appetizers are easy things to delegate.
For a large holiday gathering, you need foods in these basic categories. I’ve also given a guideline on how much you’ll need per person.
| Category | Amount per person |
| Appetizers (1-2 varieties) | 1-2 pieces |
| Main Dishes (1-2 varieties, like one meat and one vegetarian) | Meat: 1 pound raw weight; Casserole/Stew: 2 cups |
| Sides (3-4 varieties) | 1 cup for popular dishes (mashed potatoes, stuffing); 3/4 cup for cooked vegetables; 1/2 cup for gravies and sauces |
| Bread (1-2 varieties) | 2 pieces |
| Dessert | 2 pieces |
Appetizers
Appetizers keep your guests busy while you’re putting the finishing touches on the main meal. Here are some ideas:
- Chips and dip – Elevate the usual potato chips and onion dip by getting a hummus or spinach dip from your store’s deli. Artichoke dip is stupid easy to make and is absolutely delicious served hot. Serve with chips or bread chunks.
- Fresh-cut veggies
- Fruit tray
- Charcuterie board
- Mini quiches (found in the grocery store frozen aisle)
Main Dish
Traditional main dishes for Thanksgiving and year-end holiday parties are turkey or ham. Neither of these is hard to cook, but a large turkey is kind of a pain to carve. Simplify things by getting one or two turkey breasts instead. I don’t even bother with a whole turkey because no one eats anything but the white meat. It’s a waste of money, space, and time.
Spiral-sliced pre-cooked hams are easy to cook and carve.
Is everyone bored with the same old, same old? Here are some other ideas:
- Chili – Set up a toppings bar with sour cream, chives, corn bread, and shredded cheese
- Pork roast – It looks elegant, but it’s so simple to make and goes great with all the traditional turkey sides.
- Lasagna or baked pasta – This option is adaptable for vegetarian guests. You can make your own or buy a big frozen tray. Don’t forget the parm and garlic bread!
- Stuffed squash or vegetarian pot pie – hearty and easy to make.
Sides
There are so many holiday side options to choose from. Traditional sides include mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, dinner rolls, and cooked vegetables. Mashed potatoes are dead easy to make. Grocery stores often have bagged stuffing mixes that you can make as is or add your own embellishments, like celery or onions. Dinner rolls are easy too; most stores have brown-and-serve rolls that need nothing but 10 minutes in a hot oven.
Here are some other ideas:
- Mac and cheese
- Roasted root vegetables
- Green bean casserole
- Roasted sweet potatoes
- Rice
- Green salad – Get creative! I made a salad with spring mix, dried cranberries, diced pears, and gorgonzola cheese served with balsamic dressing one year.
- Cranberry sauce – Canned is easiest, but homemade is super easy to make ahead.
- Smashed potatoes – Boil small, yellow potatoes, smush them down a little, and roast them until they’re crispy – a nice alternative to mashed potatoes.
Dessert
My favorite dessert is the classic pumpkin pie with a healthy dollop of whipped cream. But you really can’t go wrong with any sweet treat. Here are some other ideas you can make or find in your store’s bakery or frozen aisle:
- Fruit cobbler or crisp
- Apple pie
- Brownie bites
- Cookies
- Mini pie tarts
- Cheesecake
Pre-Party Prep
Now that you’ve decided on what to serve, you need to make a plan for what to buy pre-made and what you’re going to make at home. Many ingredients can be purchased way ahead of time, which will help your grocery budget.
Make a list of everything you’re going to need. Don’t forget to check your cupboards and pantry – you likely already have the necessary spices and other bulk pantry staples. Also, check your store sales flyers. Popular holiday ingredients often go on sale.
Most grocery stores have disposable aluminum pans that are affordable and make for easy cleanup. They are perfect for roasting a turkey, ham, or large casserole.
To streamline your shopping trips, organize your shopping list by store section and not by recipe.
Pre-Party Shopping
Unless you really love big crowds and long lines, holiday food shopping can be broken down into a few trips.
1 – 2 Weeks Out: Buy everything that can be stored long-term, like baking supplies, canned and jarred items, oils, condiments, canned and bottled beverages, and other perishables that can be frozen or hang out in the fridge for a few weeks, like canned whipped cream. Don’t forget paper napkins, paper towels, plastic wrap, and aluminum foil. Get paper plates, plastic flatware, and cups if you’re short on dinnerware.
3 – 5 Days Out: This is the trip for things that might go south faster and stuff you just didn’t have the freezer space for. Get your potatoes, fresh vegetables, dairy, eggs, meat, bake-and-serve rolls, and dips. Don’t forget butter!
1 – 2 Days Out: The last trip is for the most perishable items, like fresh herbs, fresh bread, fresh pies or cakes, and all the other stuff you forgot. Unless you have an ice maker or freezer space to store bagged ice, check to see which stores are open and make a plan to get it the morning of your party. Most gas stations are open as a last resort.
Pro-tip: Wrap fresh bakery bread well in plastic wrap or a plastic bag until you’re ready to serve. It will keep it from getting stale.
Don’t Forget to Thaw the Bird
Grocery stores don’t mess around when it comes to frozen turkeys. They are a solid mass of frozen poultry and need ample time to thaw. Figure one day for every 4-5 pounds. The safest place to thaw poultry is the refrigerator. Put something under it, like a tray or a plastic bag, to catch any drips that come out of the packaging.
Turkeys that need a quicker thaw can be submerged in a container of cold water. Keep it wrapped in its original packaging and find a pot or other container deep enough to allow it to be covered by the water (I’ve used a clean 5-gallon bucket).
A small turkey in a pot may fit in your fridge and can just hang out. A larger bird can be stashed in a sink, tub, or cooler full of cold water, but you need to change the water every 30 minutes.
The Day Before
Do some pre-dinner prep by making some of the sides and desserts the day before. The oven in my first apartment was tiny, and I could never cook everything all at once. Getting some of the work out of the way also helps keep the main event a little more relaxed.
Pro-Tip: Cold ceramic and glass will shatter when put in a hot oven. Oven-proof dishes need to sit out for about 20 minutes before putting them into the oven.
Here’s a list of foods that can be prepped a day or two before your party:
- Homemade cranberry sauce
- Baked stuffing – Follow the stovetop or microwave directions on the package and store it in the fridge. You can do the baking part the next day.
- Frozen pies – Bake them according to package directions and store in the fridge. If they’re meant to be served warm, just heat them up for a few minutes before serving.
- Undressed green salads
- Cut vegetables
- Homemade dips
It’s Show Time!
The big day has arrived! If you were able to knock out a lot of food prep the day before, it shouldn’t be too crazy.
An important skill in cooking is timing. You don’t want to cook something that takes 10 minutes at the same time you’re cooking something that takes 3 hours. The quicker dish will sit out and get cold before the longer cooking dish is done.
When I’m cooking pretty much anything, I start the food that will take the most time first. Then I calculate how long other things are going to take and work up a schedule.
The Main Dish
If you’re cooking a turkey or ham, figure out how long it needs to cook and work backward to figure out when you need to get it in the oven. A turkey needs about 15 minutes per pound, and a pre-cooked ham needs 10-12 minutes per pound. A turkey will be done when the internal temperature at the thickest part of the breast (not touching bone) is 165 degrees.
Pro-Tip: Get a meat thermometer. I prefer digital thermometers because I get an instant read.
Meat needs 20-30 minutes to rest after cooking, so be sure to work that into your timing. Resting allows the juice to redistribute evenly and prevents it from being too dry. Cutting into meat right after it comes out of the oven also makes a hell of a mess. Cover it up with heavy-duty tin foil and let it sit on the counter while you’re wrapping things up.
Sides and Desserts
Make any sides you weren’t able to pre-game the day before. This is when I make my mashed potatoes. They take about 20 minutes between boiling and mashing, but I can get the potatoes peeled and cut earlier in the day. Make sure you submerge them in cold water, or they’ll start to oxidize and turn black.
Once the meat is out for its resting period, use the newly liberated oven space to cook or roast your sides.
Heat up the rolls, the microwaved vegetables, and anything else that doesn’t take long to cook while you’re cutting up the meat.
Like offers of food, don’t turn down help. The temptation may be strong to do everything yourself, but you’ve only got the two hands and a lot of back-end tasks. Let someone stir the gravy or whip up the mashed potatoes while you cut up the meat.
As things are ready to serve, set them out. I find buffet style is the easiest way to manage a crowd. Use a spare table (folding tables are great) to set everything in order: dinnerware and napkins, meat, sides, and dessert.
Maximize Your Downtime
You’ll have some time between kitchen tasks to tidy up and set the table or lay out your dinnerware. If you’re short on flatware, plates and glasses, use disposable items. I usually prefer not to use single-use items, but this is one day it will save headaches.
When I was starting out, I had a tiny table that barely seated two, never mind a crowd. For extra seating, use your sofa, folding chairs, and card tables.
This is also a good time to set up your drink station. Set up cups, bottle openers, and anything else you’ll need so people can help themselves. Put out an ice bucket or bowl just before guests arrive. If you need to keep drinks cold, dedicate a shelf in the fridge or set up a cooler.
Pro-Tip: Keep up with the dishes. Running a couple of dishwasher loads or handwashing a few things here and there will spare a mountain after dinner when you’d rather fall into a food coma.
Feast!
The best part of getting together with friends and family is the getting together part. Sit back, grab a plate, and enjoy the company.
Pro-Tip: If something didn’t go quite right, don’t let it get you down. Even experienced cooks have things that go sideways. Shrug it off and use it as a learning experience.
I made homemade rolls one year and set them on the stovetop to rise. I also managed to set them on fire when the tea towel I was using to cover them ignited from the heat coming out of the oven vent. There was no time to make more, and the stores were closed. But we all survived, and now I use a greased piece of tin foil.
Leftovers
You’re probably swimming in leftovers. If you have enough, make to-go bags or containers for your guests. Extras can be stored in the fridge for a couple of days for Holiday Feast Part Deux or sandwiches. The meat can also be frozen for another dinner down the road.
You’ve unlocked a new level of Adulthood, well done! How did it go? Let me know in the comments!
